I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.– Groucho Marx
me: I'm at a little league game right now... and all I want to do is shout "I love it when you call me big papa"
jess: And rightfully so. I'm definitely going to be seeing some ladies tonight that should be having my baby.
me: BABY. my cousin coaches the team, so he probably wouldn't appreciate that.
me: at least it's not his son pitching. THAT would be weird. also, Keanu Reeves is not here, so it's automatically less fun
jess: UGH! OMG I miss you. I'm on a date with my friend Julia. She invited other people. I wish she was you so it'd be hella sexier.
me: I get that a lot. I was on a date with Keanu Reeves (this is his kind of venue) but he never showed. So I wish you were here instead of all these little boys.
me: not to sound like a pedo or anything.